So last week Thursday I met with an award winning documentary production company. Once again I found myself a bag of nerves. This time the nerves did what they were supposed to do or purport to do which is an andrenaline sized 11 up the backside. Making my pitch half decent.

After a weekend of pure hell biting non existent nails and worrying stupidly over minor concerns. I got the email I was hoping , “would be very interested in doing more with you on your story, and the other members of the Chinese adoption study.”

Huge sigh of relief. Then another response to my email. Yes they were interested but only with me being a participant. Not the news that I had wanted to hear. Bitterly disappointed, but c’est la vie.

Huge sigh.

Even though we only got so far. I somehow feel vindicated. As a professional, as  HK Adoptee, as a British-Chinese citizen. As a human being.

There were looking back it obvious reasons why I, we failed, but these can be addressed and will be addressed.It has given me new impetus to re-evaluate our independent documentary. To take on board that there is another very big player on the scene. So I have to cut our cloth accordinly and shape a slightly different tale/

Will it suddenly change my life – no. Will it have an impact. I do hope so. Will the documentary if it gets commissioned put the cat amongst some pigeons, I suspect it will.

Lucy Sheen actor/writer and HK adoptee