As a grown up version of the Chinese child that this Christian family wishes to procure I don’t know which emotion takes the greater sway. Utter despair that in the 21st century we still have not learnt the lessons of the past and adoption is still pretty well much perceived by many potential AP as a propriety act. Or total black anger. I think perhaps it is a mixture of both.
If you think about it “man’s” attitude towards having children is not an altruistic act, it is a very selfish act. We want some portion of ourselves to live one. The language we use when talking about children is very telling.
It’s my child
That child belongs to me/us.
Well no actually that child doesn’t ‘belong’ to anyone but him/herself. We are but guardians and protectors to that child until s/he reaches a point where they can strike out on their own. Yes s/he is the child that we bore, is the child that we love, nurture and prepare for life. Giving them the tools to face whatever might be in store. But we do not own our children. They are not common commodities, like groceries, or are they? Adoption many times and oft, when I read such self aggrandising blogs as the one your article refers to Daniel all have a common thread: adoption as an option for parents to find the child that they want. Well for me adoption when considered should only be as a last resort as it is an extreme intervention and irreversible. Adoption should ALWAYS be about the needs of the child and not the APs.
I am the adult version of what this family is hoping to acquire. I was the baby that was referred to as “a real China doll”. I was the child that was never allowed to play the angel in the school nativity. I was the school child that got bullied, beaten and tormented and was afraid to speak to anyone about it – but in the 60s pre multicultural UK you just got on with it. Children were still seen and not heard.
What this family talks of is not adoption, it’s acquisition. If they had said they were adopting a Chinese child that was physically challenged or had mental health issues I might I have stopped and half said, ok. But as you point out they don’t want a broken child. They want a healthy China doll. They have no concept of what hell that child will be put through in the name of “love” and “god”. I only hope that China remains true to it’s current adoption criteria and they are officially denied. But then again if you have money and you really want something there are always “solutions” are there not?
4gottenadoptee 
As a grown up version of the Chinese child that this Christian family wishes to procure I don’t know which emotion takes the greater sway. Utter despair that in the 21st century we still have not learnt the lessons of the past and adoption is still pretty well much perceived by many potential AP as a propriety act. Or total black anger. I think perhaps it is a mixture of both.
If you think about it “man’s” attitude towards having children is not an altruistic act, it is a very selfish act. We want some portion of ourselves to live one. The language we use when talking about children is very telling.
It’s my child
That child belongs to me/us.
Well no actually that child doesn’t ‘belong’ to anyone but him/herself. We are but guardians and protectors to that child until s/he reaches a point where they can strike out on their own. Yes s/he is the child that we bore, is the child that we love, nurture and prepare for life. Giving them the tools to face whatever might be in store. But we do not own our children. They are not common commodities, like groceries, or are they? Adoption many times and oft, when I read such self aggrandising blogs as the one your article refers to Daniel all have a common thread: adoption as an option for parents to find the child that they want. Well for me adoption when considered should only be as a last resort as it is an extreme intervention and irreversible. Adoption should ALWAYS be about the needs of the child and not the APs.
I am the adult version of what this family is hoping to acquire. I was the baby that was referred to as “a real China doll”. I was the child that was never allowed to play the angel in the school nativity. I was the school child that got bullied, beaten and tormented and was afraid to speak to anyone about it – but in the 60s pre multicultural UK you just got on with it. Children were still seen and not heard.
What this family talks of is not adoption, it’s acquisition. If they had said they were adopting a Chinese child that was physically challenged or had mental health issues I might I have stopped and half said, ok. But as you point out they don’t want a broken child. They want a healthy China doll. They have no concept of what hell that child will be put through in the name of “love” and “god”. I only hope that China remains true to it’s current adoption criteria and they are officially denied. But then again if you have money and you really want something there are always “solutions” are there not?